6

And we're on to try number 6.

::Trying very hard to constantly repeat, "Many couples have tried for much longer...."::

Winter Wonderland

Yesterday we were supposed to celebrate Christmas with both sides of Brett's family. His Dad, his stepmom, his brother Corey, stepbrother Ryan and his family. We left our house just before noon, picked up Corey and were on our way. The roads weren't plowed very well, but, Brett's 4 wheel drive SUV made it just fine. Until we got a block away from his Dad's house.

We saw that his Dad's street hadn't been plowed. We thought we'd go around the block and come in from the other direction, hoping that side would be better. We're driving along going kind of fast to make it through the drifted snow, and then, WHAM!!!! We hit a snowbank, in the middle of the road. Our SUV was so high on the snow that we weren't even touching the ground. We were stuck and there was NO way we were getting "unstuck". It took 5 men almost 2 hours to dig us out. In the meantime, Brett's dad tried to get to us, and he got stuck as well. Once we were out of the first snow bank, we tried to drive down to his dad's...and got stuck AGAIN. We got dug out again and a man was kind enough to let us park in his driveway and he gave us a ride to Brett's Dad's street. Even his truck would have gotten stuck on that street, so, we had to walk. The snow came past my knees...and they live almost at the end of the block. Fun.

Finally, finally...we got to the house and were able to get warm and dry. We had to stay there last night and all we did was play cards and watch the weather channel. Over 15 inches of snow and 24 hours later, we're finally home. This is what I can see from our back door and windows....

And this is out our front door. through the screen. Can you see Brett snowblowing? And just to the left of him, can you see the mailbox? It's almost completely covered in snow.

Merry Christmas

We've been blessed in the mid to later part of 2009 and I hope this trend continues for the future.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Christmas Eve

Tonight is the night we'd usually spend with my family. Christmas Eve at my aunt's house with lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, sometimes a few family friends thrown in...and my Dad.

I'll be calling there later, I hope I don't cry. I wasn't there lat year, but, that was with the intention of being there THIS year. I'm happy to be where I am, but, am really missing my family tonight.

Merry Christmas to everyone!!!

Milestones

Happy Birthday to my nephew T.J.!!! he is one year old today. Wish I could be with him to celebrate.

Another HUGE milestone was reached today....December 22, 2009 marks one year since Brett's Reactionary Rheumatiod Arthritis went away. A year ago today, we went to see the rheumatologist and we took the necessary steps to get him on daily Arthritis medicine. It was going to involve weekly shots, in home training by a nurse, and it could very well have caused Brett to get cancer. (One of the side effects of the drug was the possibility of contracting Lymphoma.) But, we had to do something, as it didn't look like the pain was going to leave anytime soon. After the appt., we went to try to see T.J. in the hospital. Brigid wasn't out of recovery yet and we had to get on the road because we were going to Iowa for Christmas and there was going to be some bad weather. So, we left flowers at the nurses station and headed on our way.

7 hours later, we got to Sioux City, got out of the car and Brett felt better. SIGNIFICANTLY better. That morning was the last time he experienced chronic, severe pain. He had twinges here and there and still stayed on the simple medications for another few weeks, but, the horrible pain was gone. **Poof!** Like magic. It was like his body knew it was going to be attacked by strong medicines and it gave up fighting against him. We couldn't have been more relieved.

Other than some random tightness in his shoulder, Brett has no residual effects from his illness. He still gets VERY nervous every time he gets sick though. The doctors say the RRA can come back at any time....we'll just never know when/if it will hit again. We're hoping it never does, but, we'll see what the future holds.

Update to "Sigh"

I talked to my Dad and my Cousin tonight. Dad will be spending Christmas Eve night at my Aunt's and will celebrate with them again on Christmas Day.

I feel SO much better now. And thankful that my Aunt's family is willing to share Christmas with my Dad. Not that I ever thought they wouldn't, if need be, but....I'm still thankful.

Vent # 2

I am really crabby tonight, so, here is my second vent.

Tonight, Brett and I were at dinner and were discussing having a baby. I told him that I am now in what's called the "two week wait" (the approximate 14 days after ovulation). He asked me if I'm excited this month.

I told him I am, because we had PERFECT timing. (I realize this month still may not be "the" month, but, it's always nice to know that you've done everything humanly possible to make it work.) His reply was, "Great", in a sarcastic tone. I questioned his tone and he said, "I wish you wouldn't get so excited. If it doesn't happen, I hate to see you so sad. You go from being so happy to so sad and I hate it." He said it like I'm being stupid for hoping that each month is "the" month.

I then asked him if he ever gets excited or sad, depending on what's happening. He said, "I won't get excited until there's something to get excited about." Now, I realize, in theory, this is good. But, it kills me that he's not really excited about TTC and I think I hate it even more when a new cycle starts and it's no big deal to him. I sometimes wonder if he really cares if we EVER get pregnant or not. He seems like he can take it or leave it. And of course, that gets the ball rolling..."Well, if he doesn't really care, should we even be trying?"

I guess I just feel all alone in this journey. All of my close girlfriends are pregnant or have already had their babies. (Well, all of the ones that want children right now.) By the time I'm pregnant, I'm going to have no one to share this with. No sister, no pregnant friends, my husband doesn't really care....it just makes me very sad.

Week One: Successfully Completed

Today marks one week of going to the gym. I went every day I planned on going and I actually enjoy it. I mean, I still have the, "Ugh, I don't wanna go to the gym" thought, but, I go and I like being there.

Today I did my 1 frees training session with the personal trainer. Her name is Elizabeth and she's really nice. She has an adorable little body and while I will NEVER look like she does, she gives me inspiration to at least try. And she seems to have a training style that I like. Very encouraging, very informative...none of this, "Oh, quit being a baby" typed stuff that I heard the other trainer do. (Granted, that was a male trainer working with a muscle bound guy, so, that is a totally different story.)

Anyway, I decided to work with Elizabeth twice a week for now. I need that direction to tell me what to do, what not to do, etc...eventually I'll know what to do on my own. But, for the next few months, I think it'll be good for me to utilize her.

Official weigh in is tomorrow, but, so far, I've lost two pounds. And I've already increased my time doing cardio, although, Elizabeth says once I start incorporating weights into my workout, I won't have to do cardio for as long as I'm doing it now. But, an increase for now means I'm building my stamina/fitness level. Which is the goal. I was able to do all of Elizabeth's initial "tests" with no problem. Although, the ab stuff got a little harder than hard at the end. Even still, I did it all and I'm really happy.

Yay me!

Coming Soon...

....pictures of our house! Now that I've found my camera cord, I'll be posting house pictures by this weekend. Just need to do some organizing (translation: cleaning) first!

Nestie Ornament Exchange 2009

My Destination Weddings friends and I take part in an ornament exchange every year. Thank you to Danielle for these great ornaments, I love them!

Back To The Gym Today

I haven't been to the gym since BEFORE our wedding last year. Awful, I know. My body is certainly showing the lack of exercise and unhealthy eating.

I've been mulling the thought around for a while now, knowing that I've gained a LOT of weight. But, this weekend we went to that stupid cage fighting thing and some of the fighters were taller than me and weighed WAY less than what I guess I weigh right now. I've also noticed that I lose my breath a lot faster when doing simple things like walking through a large parking lot AND I'm in the highest sized clothing I've ever worn. NOT acceptable. So, it's time.

I haven't stepped on a scale since May, but, I need to lose at least 15 pounds. I'd imagine I should probably lose close to 30. But, small steps are the best way, so, my goal is 15 pounds right now...with potential for more. Brett and I are both committed to eating healthier and he will be starting back at the gym in the next few weeks as well....which will help me to stay committed.

I have a problem with gym commitment. I tend to be all about it for a month or two and then it falls to the wayside. Today I make a vow that I WILL keep up with this. I may miss a day here or there, I may cheat with my eating once in a while. BUT, this needs to happen. It is time and my vow is to make this happen.

Wish me luck that I don't keel over today!!!

Cycle 4...

...was a bust.

"If at first (or second, or third or fourth) you don't succeed, try, try again."